Five Words
by Sara's Earliest Works
Summary: See Jadeite wangst. See Setsuna care. See Sara whine in her disclaimers. Fun!


"Five Words"  
by Sara Jaye 

This is just something I came up with yesterday when I was feeling depressed. It was just one of those mornings where everything seemed to go wrong-I overslept, was in a lousy mood, and flunked my math assignment. After my math tutor left, I felt stupid and pathetic. Like I should have been able to get a passing grade. Before I knew it, this came to mind and I was writing. This story may seem a little odd in some places, but I was thinking more about the emotions in it at the time...I hope it's still decent.

Disclaimers: Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and Toei animation. None of the characters belong to me. This fanfic is a bit depressing, and very emotional. So if that kind of thing bothers you, you may want to close this window. Otherwise, enjoy!

"I wish I was dead."  
Those words repeated themselves in my head over and over as I listened to the rain beating down on the windows. I clutched tightly at the bedsheet, burying my face in the pillow to muffle the loud, pitiful sobs wracking my body. I hated my life. I hated my job, I hated feeling so stupid and lonely, and most of all, I hated myself. For putting up with all the trash life kept hurling at me. For having worked for the forces of evil in the past simply because I was lonely and wanting to escape everything. For allowing my so-called friends to mock me. For being pathetic enough to mock in the first place. For feeling so weak and depressed. In short...I hated myself for being alive. I wanted to end it all.  
"I wish I was dead," I choked, another stream of tears running down my face. I hated being in so much pain...I wanted for someone to hold me and tell me they cared about me, that things would be okay. But alas...I just couldn't have that. No one cared. To them I was either a useless idiot, or just...not important enough. My heart ached so much. I wanted to die and end my emotional torment.  
Just then, I heard a soft knock on the door. Great, I thought. It must be one of the guys coming to rip into me some more. "Go away," I mumbled. "May I come in?" a kind female voice asked. I immediately felt bad. Obviously it wasn't one of the guys. "Sure," I said. The door opened, and in walked someone familiar, but at the same time who I'd have never expected. I looked up for a moment, my vision blurred by tears.  
"Setsuna..." I sighed, then lay my face back into the pillow. She walked over and sat down at the foot of the bed. "So...what's wrong?" she asked. I tried to answer, but all I could manage was a long, shuddering sob. My shoulders shook as I slowly lifted my head, then turned to face her direction. Her soft garnet-red eyes were filled with tears. "Jadeite? What's wrong?" she repeated. I tried to answer, but more sobs caught in my throat. I gulped and took a few deep breaths before trying again. "Nothing...just everything," I managed to get out before falling back against the pillow, shoulders heaving. I heard Setsuna sigh, then felt her cautiously place her hand on my back. "There there...just tell me what's wrong," she whispered comfortingly. Upon hearing her say that, my tears stopped momentarily. I longed to tell her of all my sorrows, of how the world seemed to be against me no matter what I did...but why would she care? Why should she care? After all, she was Meioh Setsuna, Sailor Pluto, Guardian of Time. She has more important things to think about than dumb old Jadeite, I thought.  
"Why do you care?" I muttered. She sighed again. "Jadeite, please tell me. Maybe I can help you," she said. Sure, maybe she could. "But why would you want to?" "Because...I know how you feel," she told me. I found that hard to believe. How could she possibly know of the emotional torment I was going through? I knew she did get depressed sometimes, but still... "You're just saying that," I muttered, a bit angrily. "No, I'm really not. I, too, have felt as you do right now, Jadeite. That life was meaningless. And loneliness is a regular feeling for me," she said. "Maybe. But tell me something, did you let yourself be drawn in by the forces of evil simply to escape life?" I asked. She shook her head. "Can't say that I have," she answered. "Then you can't know how I feel right now," I said coldly. I felt terrible for sounding so bitter to someone who just wanted to help. But I knew I was beyond help. My life was a living hell, so what difference would it make that one person felt sorry for me? "It's hopeless," I mumbled. "What is?" she asked. "Everything!" I cried, my eyes overflowing yet again. "I'm lonely, I'm stuck in a dead-end job I shouldn't even have in the first place considering my past, my so-called friends could give a damn less about me and mock me every time I screw up, I'm stupid, mundane, and just...worthless," I sobbed. "I hate my life and I hate myself even more!" Setsuna did not say anything, just got up, came over to the side of the bed, and knelt down. I felt her hand gently running up and down my back, and occasionally over my shoulders. "Just let it all out, Jadeite," she whispered soothingly. "I-I can't stand this pain anymore, Setsuna..." I sobbed. "I wish I was dead." I heard her gasp.  
"Jadeite...please don't," she implored. "I've got nothing to live for," I choked. "Please don't..." she said again. For a minute I could have sworn I heard her voice break. "No one gives a damn about me anyhow. No one understands...no one cares," I cried. Then I heard something I never thought I would.  
"I care."  
Was this real? Did she just say she actually cared? I looked up slightly, my eyes red and swollen from crying.  
"What?"  
"I care about you," she said.  
I couldn't believe this. Someone cared about me? Someone cared whether dumb old Jadeite lived of died-and didn't want me to die? I felt my heart swell a little in my chest.  
"Setsuna..." I whispered. I sat up in bed a little, to make room for her. She sat back down and wrapped her slender arms around my shaking form, pulling my close against her. Unable to say anything, I flung my arms around her neck and lay my head on her chest. Tears fell from my eyes, but this time they were ones of relief, that I was not alone in this world. "Shh..." She held me closer, stroking my hair. "I'm here for you, Jadeite," she whispered.  
Somewhere in my mind, 5 words of hopelessness and depression faded, and were replaced by the ones just whispered to me. By my emerald-haired savior. A small smile appeared on my face. "Thank you," I whispered.  
My life was still far from wonderful. But knowing I had a true friend who understood my sorrow and cared enough to stop me from ending it all was the best thing that happened in a long time.  
Amazing what a difference 5 words can make.

End


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